Sometimes... life is better in black and white
I have really been lacking motivation lately and I'm not sure what's going on. I just haven't felt like doing any writing except of course on Twitter. I just want to sleep. I told myself I would update my blog at least once a week and I haven't even done that.
Here's the thing a few weeks ago I had a little financial setback when one of the magazines I write for hired a full-time editor and bottle washer. The reason I say that is, the publisher has decided this "editor" is going to basically write the entire magazine by herself, except for once in a great while when I guess they need some additional help at which time they will bring me and the other writers in to accommodate their crisis. The decision to do this was made to save money and while it may help their budget it does nothing for mine.
Anyway, after that happened I decided rather than to let myself get down I would instead see it as an opportunity to expand my business and do some things I've wanted to do for awhile and haven't had the time. So my husband and I spent some time talking about what direction I saw my writing business going and where I could see myself in another year. The conversation was really great and helped to give me some clarity and perspective. I walked away that night feeling positive but. . .
Then nothing . . .
I want to say that maybe I'm afraid or it's depression but I don't really feel like it's either. I don't know why I haven't worked at anything.
I was excited about everything that night and I don't know why I haven't followed up with anything but since my apathy has not been great for the checking account I've decided I have got to change what's happening here. So. . . what I'm going to do is set three goals a day and accomplish them no matter what. Then once I complete those goals I can write more if I so choose but if I don't at least I will have done something every day. That's more than I can say now.
I've done this method before when I've been in a slump and it's helped me so I'm hopeful it will do the same this time around. I also need to take up a little bit of exercise to get those natural endorphins going -- even if it's just getting up every morning and going for a walk. We have a walking trail just a little ways from our home that I've been dieing to go on and take some photos so I guess I'll make that a part of my daily routine as well.
I'll report back in a week, if not sooner on how things are going. Wish me luck?
Okay, I managed to leave a couple of comments on web sites today, updated my twitter, sent some emails and took the time to actually post another blog the day after I wrote the last one. Yeah!
It may not be much but it's proof to me I can actually break out of my cyber shell. One particular email I sent today was to C. Hope Clark, the owner of http://www.fundsforwriters.com/ Hope is absolutely an awesome writer and really works hard to provide quality leads for writers on contests and markets.
I've wanted to email her for a long time just to thank her for the time she puts into her work for others but haven't had the courage. Today I did it. So maybe it's not the president but I'll get there. The president will probably be easier however, since I don't really care what he thinks. Anyway, it was a big leap for me in the way of getting over my fears.
I remember the first time I had to interview somebody for a newspaper story. I was a staff reporter for the college newspaper. I loved writing but was absolutely scared to death to ask anyone questions, which obviously you have to do when you're a reporter.
I was covering a story on the nuclear Downwinders in Utah who had just lost their court battle and were holding a candlelight vigil on campus. I couldn't bring myself to talk to them so the photographer who was with me jumped in and started the interview. That probably would have marked the beginning and ending of my journalism pursuits if it hadn't been for him.
While that was a long time ago I can still remember it like yesterday. The story I did on that event ended up in the congressional records as the Downwinders entered it as part of their testimony to congress. They chose my story over others that had been written on the same event because they felt it presented the most fair and balanced report about the Downwinders.
Now years later -- I don't think there's much that scares me when it comes to reporting. I've interviewed people from Vice President Dick Cheney to the homeless man on the street and I've loved every minute of it. Although I have to admit there are those times when I've done an investigative story and I know it's going to make people mad that I feel a little tied up in knots right before the story hits the stands and I get that first hate mail.
One of the ways I get through those moments is to say things like,"It's not my job to make people like me. I'm not in the customer service business or I'm not running a popularity contest or I'm not running a political campaign where I have to care whether the masses are pleased with me it's my job to cover the political campaign and make sure the masses know the truth." When I remind myself of this it seems to help keep my perspective on what it is I do.
